Mission Critical Goo

I’ve been very quiet recently, you are right. In part it’s because I’ve been (and still am) ill, and when I’m ill I like to hide away from the world and have as little contact with the outside as is humanly possible. Ask my flatmates; I haven’t really been seen for weeks.

I’m also just a tad overworked at the moment, which is mostly not my fault; a course which should have been a lazy Sunday afternoon drive has turned out to be the equivalent or renationalising the railway network.

Still, let it not be said that I haven’t been thinking of you all.

Although, I really haven’t.

Now, I could tell you tales of internet dating, recovered friendships and how you can still buy several days worth of pseudoephedrine from the chemist, but you want conspiracy theories, don’t you?

The UK: almost everyone thinks that the Tories won’t really allow the Lib Dems to succeed in getting a fully proportional voting system up and running (and most people Labour will do its darndest to scupper that plan as well); is it a conspiracy? No; as Stephen Fry has pointed out, it’s just self-preservation at work and not some dastardly plan.

The US Supreme Court nomination: Given that the far-right in America continues to paint Obama as the socialist par excellence the nomination of a far-right candidate for the Supreme Court should have mollified his critics, but it hasn’t. They think he’s up to something, that it’s all part of some grandiose plan to introduce decency and decadence to the USA. Frankly, I think it shows just how far to the right the “Left” in America really is.

Mining in the New Zealand Conservation Estate: Well, everyone thought that the Great Barrier option was a smokescreen and the Coromandel an odd choice for a place to wreck environmental devastation, but I don’t think National are merely in it for the money and the glory. It seems that Gerry Brownlee (and most of the Cabinet) have great issue working out who an appropriately qualified expert is in a field relevant to the discussion at hand. That isn’t a malign trait; just a truly regrettable one; frankly, the New Zealand public have themselves to blame. They voted this lot in just because they were bored with the previous administration.

That’s all well and good, Matthew, you must surely be thinking; we all know you’re a socialist but what about the conspiring? Surely you must have something more than vindication verbiage?

Not tonight I don’t. I’ve been watching, in my sickly state, an awful lot of “Newsradio” and I’m channeling Dave, who, when told by Joe that the USA is harbouring evidence of extraterrestrial activity, says:

“Wait a minute, Joe. If what you’re saying is true, then… I still don’t care.”

I will care tomorrow (or Thursday, whichever day sees me rise triumphantly from my sickbed), but today… Well, conspiracy theories belong to the kooks and will trouble me not.