For Jack

I had to substitute-teach a class yesterday, but I had no idea where the kids were on the lesson plan, so I thought I’d just make it easy and have a “discussion day.” But it became really obvious right away that the kids hadn’t done any of the reading, because none of them were talking. And I knew they hadn’t done the reading, but I hadn’t done it, either, so I couldn’t make a big deal out of it … so, long story short, I have 13 tons of smoked ham in my car and not a clue what to do with it.

-from McSweeneys