I had almost forgotten about these… My submissions to the ‘Little Lytton’ competition.
Contest A:
As its blood washed over me something stirred in my loins, reminding me of the first time Candice, the Irish wolfhound, made love to me.
Contest B:
Yet to no avail, for high above the cityscape Vice-General Balzurg prepared to press the button that would initiate firey death upon those limey cocksuckers.
To fully understand this post, go and read the relevant details on the website. Go on. It’ll show why I have no artistic soul; the winners show true genius.
Thus the hack goes to bed.